eat hot chip and lie Audiobooks

My name is Zoe McKinley. I have a boring life, an awful job, and a boss that throws staplers at my head. What could be worse? How about being abducted by Aliens? Being dragged through a mirror, naked and screaming, onto an extraterrestrial ship was bad. Finding out I had been sold to a huge alien male who looks like the Devil was worse. But learning he wanted to trade me to an intergalactic petting zoo was the worst of all! Now I'm whizzing through the galaxy with a robot butler, a trio of nib-nibs (they're like tiny green monkeys) and one huge, muscular, and very grumpy alien. The clothing they gave me shows all my lady-bits, the food-sim makes banana cream pie that tastes like sauerkraut, and Sarden, my captor, is too hot to stay mad at, even if he is a jerk. In fact, I think I might be falling for him. What's a girl to do? It's all in a day's work when you've been...Abducted. ***Abducted is Book 1 in my Alien Mate Index series. It is a plus-sized novel--140,000 words long*** The Alien Mate Index--Learn more From the pen of Evangeline Anderson, the writer who brought you Brides of the Kindred, comes a new race of Alien warriors…twelve races, to be exact. Everyone thinks that life just evolved on Earth— Wrong. Our planet, and twelve others, all capable of supporting Terran life, was seeded by the Ancient Ones. Then Earth was locked away, kept safe in the cocoon of our ozone layer. But now there’s a gaping hole in our security blanket and guess who’s coming to dinner? That’s right—the Alien warriors of the Twelve Peoples—also descended from the Ancient Ones, are looking for mates and Earth girls are their first choice. The Vorn are feared throughout the galaxy. Savage, horned warriors, these males can be surprisingly gentle to the females they choose to bond with. Denarins come in pairs—two muscular males who share a psychic bond... and feel the need to share one woman as well. The Majorans worship their females as goddesses, the very color of their skin changing with their bonded mate’s mood. Braxians are savage with black-on-white eyes that can see every spectrum of light. They will defend their females to the last drop of blood in their huge, blue bodies. And there are more…so many more Alien warriors to pick from. Which type of male would you choose? Too bad you won’t have a choice, because thanks to the Alien Mate Index, an agency that abducts Earth brides for alien males, you could be snatched at any time and turned into a massive warrior’s mate or concubine. So the real question is—who will choose you?

A Thief who has no honor... A Priestess who has broken her vow of chastity... Can the two of them complete a quest at the treacherous Tenebrian Court ? Read The Priestess and the Thief to find out. Ellilah is a priestess…but not a very good one. She doesn’t seem to have the right temperament for quiet meditation. And even worse, she broke her vow of chastity at the Christmas party after a dark stranger drugged her punch. Now she’s being sent to the Priory of Extreme Atonement—an ominous place with no windows and daily beatings. But Elli has always had a mind of her own. Instead of handing herself over for punishment, she goes on a quest to find a cure for the old Priestess Superior who is dying. Elli’s quest will take her to the Tenebrian Court and put her in great danger…which is why the Goddess sends her some help in the form of the very same dark stranger who drugged her punch in the first place. Roke is half Havoc—a Kindred-like race of males who refuse to bond with females. He is none too pleased at being sent to protect the little priestess, but he doesn’t dare disobey the Goddess. Once he meets Elli again, however, he feels an instant attraction to her. He goes with her to the dangerous Tenebrian Court to protect her from the predatory nobles—especially the rapacious Crown Prince who insists that everyone “Mirror” his erotic activities at supper every night. Will the two of them be able to complete their quest and leave the Court alive? Will Roke admit he wants to bond with Elli, even though he has sworn never to take a bride? And will Elli ever forgive herself for breaking her vow of chastity with the dark warrior? Read The Priestess and the Thief and find out!

"Damaged. Disgraced. Dishonored. And the only hero who can save seven worlds.When a freak accident ruins his body and his memory, Wes Malcolm loses his scholarship and his place in the world. Every treatment has failed, save one: a fully immersive VR game, designed by his late, disgraced father, that mimics the condition his body used to possess. To everyone's disbelief, his body and mind slowly improve, bit by bit, but it's still not enough.Then one night, he wakes up in a world just like the game his father designed. Here, he can grow, learn, and thrive. But this world and all its sister planets are under assault from nightmare creatures, supernatural storms, and a host of other cataclysms. The strange, beautiful steward of these worlds offers him a deal: Save her planets, and he can take the power he gains back to his original body on Earth. It's the best chance he's ever been offered. But will his determination be enough, both for himself and the worlds now depending on him?Come and find out."

"Run little she-wolf, as far as you can because if I ever catch you, your worst fucking nightmare will become your reality.” He whispered dangerously, his grip on me painfully tight.A smile curled the corner of my lips, and I raised an eyebrow, running the tip of my nail down his chiselled jaw challengingly.“Oh but you’re wrong Blue-Eyes because I am the stuff of nightmares, and I'm here to create hell in your life. Not scared, are we?”Icy blue eyes met my unblinking bright blue.“I'm warning you, don’t mess with me.” He growled.“Oh? But the thing is, I always do what I'm not supposed to.” -----Azura Rayne Westwood. Known for her devilish ways and wild personality, was the youngest child of the renown Westwood couple. From her days at the Academy, word of her antics spread far and fast, yet there was far more to the young nineteen-year-old woman. The skeletons of the past are never left buried, and life isn't all as carefree as Azura portrays it to be. When demons from her past begin to make life difficult, she ends up making an even bigger mistake. Spending a night of intense passion unknowingly with the infamous stone-hearted Leo Rossi, changing her life forever.When Leo finds out that the woman he bedded was from none other than one of the packs he resents the most, he turns away from her, but he forgot one very vital detail; Azura was no angel, and when you mess with the Westwood Devil, you're tied for life. In a journey of passion, fire, strength and rejection, who will triumph?The young girl with the heart of fire, or the Alpha who yields nothing but hatred and resentment?Follow me at author.muse on IG!

Grav N’gol is many things. Murderer…ex-con…Alien half-breed… And a Protector. More than just a bodyguard, a Protector chooses a female to ward for life and swears an oath to die for her if necessary. Enter Leah Roth. The luscious little Earth female is supposed to be just a quick surveillance gig for Grav. He’ll check on her and report back that she’s okay—it should be easy. Only she’s not okay. When Grav sees Leah’s abusive husband hurting her, he swings into action. Before he knows it, he has Leah aboard his ship. When he’s given a dangerous and difficult mission, Leah volunteers to come alone and help…and somehow Grav can’t say no. But as much as he feels drawn to the lovely little human, Grav knows it can never be between them. For in his past lurks a bloody and savage secret that would turn even the most forgiving heart against him. From his past and from his true nature Leah must be...Protected at all costs.

Charlotte Walker is just an intern trying to get through her surgical rotation in one piece when her life takes an abrupt turn for the weird. A seven-foot tall patient with multicolored eyes and golden skin shows up in the ER asking for her. When he tells Charlotte she's supposed to be the Empress of the entire galaxy, she naturally thinks he's high or crazy or both. He's not. Kristoff Verrai is the Captain of the Imperial Guard of the Goddess-Empress of the galaxy. For ten cycles he served his old mistress faithfully. Now that she is dead, his only job is to find and protect her new Incarnation until she can ascend the throne. He doesn't expect to fall in love with her. But a relationship between them can never be--the Empress must have a Consort with Royal blood and Kristoff is just a commoner. Can they fight the love growing between them? Or will it overwhelm them? If only Charlotte wasn't Descended from the most powerful female in the universe, they might have a chance...

I never wanted to sell my blood for money. But that’s what I end up doing after an alien merchant abducts me and dumps me on O’nagga Nine. When I run into Baron Vik’tor and he takes a liking to me, it seems like my luck has turned. But the Baron is a powerful man and there are people in his life that want me dead. Will I survive being The Baron’s Bride? Natalie Hale hates her life. You would too if an alien merchant abducted you and then dumped you on a distant planet where it’s so cold even the buildings and infrastructure are made of ice. To survive, Natalie has to sell her blood, which is the only commodity she has. Because the inhabitants of O’nagga Nine, where she’s living, need blood to survive, she manages to make a meager living. But she’s barely scraping by until she literally runs into the Baron. Baron Vik’tor is the richest, most influential man on the planet. He’s also a half-breed—a Naggian/Braxian mix which means he has curling horns, blue tattoos, and a wicked temper whenever he thinks the woman he cares for is threatened. And it just so happens, he cares for Natalie. But Natalie’s personal Pretty Woman scenario can’t last long. The Baron is a powerful man and there are people in his life that don’t like her having influence on him. Some will even stop at nothing to kill her. Can Natalie survive being The Baron’s Bride? You’ll have to read to find out. Author's Note--This is book 6 in the Alien Mate Index series but it can be read as a stand alone book, though you might enjoy it more if you read books 1-5 first.

“I never thought I could want anyone as much as I wanted Nash, then I met you”~Royal When I was sixteen I was afflicted with a terrible curse...I fell in love with my straight best friend. I never thought I’d move past my feelings for Nash and find someone who could love me in return, until the day a gorgeous marine plopped himself down in my chair and asked me to ink him. I’m falling fast for Zade, but my feelings for Nash are still very real. When life starts getting complicated and Nash speaks the words I never thought I’d hear, the only thing I want is for us to find a way to make this work...together. “What if I told you, you'd never have to choose?”~Zade I thought I’d stay in the marines for life, that was the plan. But after a traumatic event I couldn’t make myself re-enlist when my contract was up. Confused and unsure what to do next I called up my best friend for a place to stay. What I didn’t count on was my best friend’s boyfriend practically throwing a sexy tattoo artist at me to keep me busy. Royal is everything I’ve ever wanted and his roommate, Nash, is starting to grow on me, too. “A few weeks ago I thought I was straight. Now I'm sandwiched between two sweaty men. Can't say I do anything half-assed.” ~Nash Of course I’ve noticed that my best friend, Royal is crazy good looking. I have eyes, that doesn’t mean I’m into guys. Although, when I start to notice that his new boyfriend, Zade, is pretty hot too, that makes me start to question things a little. Not to mention the dreams I keep having of the three of us together. I’m willing to try if they are. **This is NOT a love triangle, just good old fashioned man-on-man-on-man love **Every book in the Heathens Ink series can be read as a stand-alone, but it’s way more fun to read them in order.

Just one taste isn't enough… I ran into Rex Keene—literally—when I was trying to catch my flight and his muscled, tattooed arms stopped my fall. Then our flight gets canceled, and we're stranded in the same hotel room together...it ended up being the steamiest night of my life. All I knew is that I had to see him again. I just didn’t expect him to show up a week later in the restaurant I manage…as our new head chef. But the generous, tender man I spent that night with is gone; instead he’s arrogant, demanding, and terrorizing the staff. But he won’t give up until we’re together – and I’m not sure I can stay away. Which man is real? Who is Rex Keene? From bestselling author Opal Carew, take a bite of Meat .

When passion turns into love, three is never a crowd. A year of wedded bliss to sexy-as-sin cowboy Trevor Glanzer has gifted Chassie West Glanzer happiness and contentment she didn’t expect to find. But when Trevor’s old roping partner ambles up the driveway, Chassie’s life is thrown into chaos. Trevor never expected to see Edgard Mancuso again, after it became clear he couldn’t be the man Edgard needed. Trevor is head-over-heels in love with his sweet, feisty wife, but with Edgard comes never forgotten feelings, and he is dreading Chassie’s reaction when she learns Edgard has returned to sort out their tangled past. Edgard wasn’t sure how he’d feel about Trevor’s wife, but the more time he spends with the big-hearted cowgirl, the deeper their connection becomes. Soon the three of them test intimate boundaries together and discover old heartbreaks are no match for their unbridled hunger. Is the newly formed threesome’s love strong enough to overcome the obstacles that threaten their future?