you re so dark jokes Audiobooks

Once a year the Iridescence Pack opens their gates to the world. Once a year an event unlike any other takes place. Ruled by an Alpha with a penchant for trickery, Iridian is a game where nothing is what it seems. Werewolves around the world beg for a coveted invitation to Iridian, desperate for a shot at the grand prize. Invitations sent across the world; their recipients chosen at random. For an entire week werewolves gather for the anticipated Iridian, held by the infamous Game Master. Each year the Game Master changes the game, challenging the mind and tricking the senses.The only thing Rachel Thornton cares about is finding her mate and getting the hell out of her small pack. Located in the middle of nowhere, Rachel longs to see the world. When an invitation finds its way into her hands, she wants nothing more than to refuse and move on with her life. This year the rules have changed, and something important was taken from Rachel. The only way to recover what was stolen is to venture to the Iridescence Pack, becoming a pawn in a game she never wanted to play.

"I am a monster, Miss Hart. You wouldn't want nor wish to see me..." He is mysterious and brilliant, wealthy and prominent, but no single soul has seen him in person. Well, no one should see him—that's one of his many rules. No one can touch him either; that's another rule. Except for me because I have broken every rule. Now I'm extremely drawn to him. His peculiarity is out of this world, and his beauty is beyond physical. But the Master has demons of his own and is being chased by his brutal past. Suddenly, we've become the reflection of each other's nightmares. I realize that the Master and I are not so different. Is this newly found bond just another uncertain fate that could deepen our wounds, or is it finally going to be our redemption?

Zheira's a monster, at least in her opinion. She has this gift to see people's memories, but as gifted as she is, she's been confronted by something claiming to be her soul. As she resists this entity, she becomes a threat even to her father, of whom she almost killed. In fear of hurting others, she flees but comes across Vladimir, a vampire, who, through his captivating demeanor, tries to convince her to stop resisting and let her soul take over her life.

“What did you say, little wolf?” he asked. “Repeat.” I swallowed saliva down my dry throat. “I don’t belong to you,” I repeated, staring into his amber eyes. The next moment he pounced on me with predator's intensity. He pinned my wrists in one hand and forced them above my head. Pressing my body with his heavy one, he growled, “You belong to me, little wolf. Remember that. I am going to hunt you from the depths of hell if you try to run or hide.” He captured my lips in a sizzling kiss as he grounded his rock-hard erection on me. ---- After a perfect night with Violet, Dane rejects her, to marry Emily who is known to him from childhood and is the perfect choice. Feeling insulted and dejected, Violet runs away. However, Dane can't stop thinking about Violet and crazily hunts for her. At his pre-wedding party, he sees Violet with someone else. Jealousy rips his heart and this time he won't let her go, even if that means he has to break the rules. Violet resists him, because she has something precious to hide. What happens when Dane sees a pup who is his carbon copy? And he calls Violet, ‘Mom’. Will Violet accept his rejection finally? Or will she come back to him? Will Dane be able to seduce her back in his own, dark and twisted way? Or will he be forced to go back to Emily? Let the chase begin!

Her eyes widened when his tool sprang free from constraint. He glanced down and winced, understanding her surprise. He was harder than he’d ever been in his life. His tool strained upward, so long and thick.****************“What on earth were you doing there tonight Sandra? Do you have any clue what Craig could have done to you? Let me tell you. He would have had you bent over while he did unpleasant things to your body. It would have been all about his own pleasure and satisfaction. What were you thinking?”“I know exactly what I was doing, you will never understand"....His eyes widened in confusion..... *********Sandra had loved her late husband with all her heart, and after 5 years of mourning and resignation, she has decided to move on with her life. She has a deep desire and an ache in her which she felt her late husband couldn't give her, no matter how much he loved her and could give her everything as a multi billionaire. Now that he's gone, she begins her search for the one thing her beloved late husband couldn't give her. What she doesn't know is that someone she had considered as a good friend of her husband for many years has a strong feeling for her, and had been waiting patiently for an opportunity to prove it to her. Little did he know that she has a deep desire, a huge void in her, which her late husband was not able to satisfy or fill. Having been in love with her for a long time now, he was determined to go the extra length, to ensure that he will be the only man to fill that void and grant those desires in her. But what if there's a competitor?

Dominant, crop-wielding men are all Kate dreams about, but how far is she willing to go? Kate wants a man who will take charge—she just needs to find the right guy. Fortunately, her friend is throwing a kinky Halloween party with a guest list loaded with sexy, available men. That’s where she meets Banner. Dark and intense, Banner’s not just a Dominant, he’s a Master looking for a slave. Kate isn’t interested in something that extreme, but when he offers to help her find the perfect Dom, while training her to be a flawless submissive, she’s glad to have a matchmaker and protector. Banner knows they’re not compatible, yet something about Kate is impossible to resist. Once he finds her the right Dom, will he be able let her go?

Two NEW Kindred Tales Novels in One Book! One Light and Sweet, The other Dark and Sexy. Which Kindred of Kindred do you prefer? Read DARK and LIGHT and decide for yourself... Light: In Saved by the Drake, Lucia Ramirez is having a terrible day when a huge, scary male confronts her on a dark street. But the scary male turns out to be a Kindred warrior—Raze. And he just needs help with the three motherless kittens he found under a dumpster. As a vet tech working at the Paws and Purrs Pet Clinic, Luci is uniquely qualified to handle Raze’s problem. But can she handle a much larger animal—his Drake? Read Saved by the Drake to find out.Dark: In Captured by the Kru’ell One, Allisandra Stone keeps having disturbing dreams of a huge Kindred warrior with mirrored eyes that reflect her soul. He tells her that he knows all her darkest desires and he intends to make them come true. Alli is certain it’s just a nightmare but when he comes to take her from her bed, she goes with him anyway. Soon she finds herself strapped to the Stinging Frame as Kane feeds on her pleasure in a way no other Kindred ever could or would. Can Alli escape the dark dream she has fallen into…does she even want to try? Read Captured by the Kru’ell One if you dare to find out.

Love isn't always pretty - especially not when you fall for a Beast. I ran like hell from the tragedy in my past. I didn’t slow down, and I didn’t look back. But I couldn’t outrun the memories...or escape the nightmares. I came to North Carolina to be alone. Hayden Graham attracts problems like a magnet. She's a complication I don't need. This time, the mess she's in has put her life in danger. What she needs is a hero to rescue her. But I'm no knight in shining armor. I'm a wounded animal – a Beast. She tastes like Heaven. She only adds to my Hell. She makes me want things that I can’t have, things I'll never deserve. Love isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's rough. And sometimes... it's f****ng dirty. Book 1 of 2 in the Beast & Beauty Devil's Blaze Duet COMPLETE STANDALONE Series Books 1-4 are independent of this duet.

Cassandra Swann is about to find out. Because she and her sisters are 1/8th fairy--not enough to do any magic--just enough to get them a Fairy Godmother from hell whose reckless spells makes their lives miserable. When her older sister decides to take the FG to court, Cass gets caught in the crossfire. Hit by their godmother with a disastrous birthday wish, she is in danger of losing what she loves most--her ability to paint. Because the court is in the realm of the Fae, Cass and her sisters have a Court Appointed Elf who acts as their attorney slash bodyguard. But who ever heard of a 6 foot 4 muscular elf with coal-black hair and intense green eyes? Sparks fly the first minute Cass meets Jacobin O'Shea. She resents his high-handed ways and Jake thinks Cass is a spoiled human brat. But after he saves her from a soul-sucker and sees her art, things begin to change between them. But Cass's ability to paint is still screwed up. Every painting she attempts climbs off the canvas and makes trouble in the real world. When the Fae court assigns her a new Fairy Godmother, things get exponentially worse when her new wish multiplies her living art. To make matters even more difficult, Jake's ex-fiancée--a gorgeous, anorexiclly-thin fairy--has Cass in her crosshairs and is determined to ruin anything that might grow between them. And did we mention Cass's grandmother is going on disastrous dates that fill the house with Star Trek conventioneers, bikers, and nudists? It's a mess only magic could make...or fix. Will Cass and Jake ever get past their differences? Will Cass regain her ability to paint without every painting stepping off the canvas? (Really, Fairy Godmother?) And will Cass's grandmother find a man without burning down the house? You'll have to read Be Careful What You Wish For, the second book in the Swann Sisters Chronicles to find out.

Lilah Winters has been on the run for the last seven years. Moving from pack to pack, and hotel to hotel. Lilah’s mother had been trying her hardest to keep her only child safe. Using any method she could to stay one step ahead of the man from her daughter's nightmares. Just days before her eighteenth, Lilah and her mother are in a car accident, throwing Lilah directly into the path of the very man she was trying to escape. Injured and barely conscious, Lilah has no choice but to accept his help. But that doesn’t mean that she is going to make it easy for him.